Eve’s and Wazir’s lil blog space

Was just browsing and found the Funny Times.  The comic subscription to support the work of Patch Adams (remember the movie by Robin Williams?) and his Gesundheit Institute.  I just can’t resist sharing some of them which will hopefully lighten up your day as it did mine:

Just to show how different men and women are

Office Self Defense 101 - It’s not me!!

Gave me a new perspective to this phrase!

More like motivation to pay day!

The necessary evil in today’s modern living ;p

It is just over 2 weeks since the election and while things remain unrest in some states and in many of the so called community leaders’ heads, let’s enjoy some “political” songs posted in YouTube :

This particular song was circulated during Christmas last year (just 2 weeks ago). Unfortunately, it is not your normal “Jingle Bell” but rather a ‘ham sap‘ version. Just thought of sharing it … in light of the earlier Penal Code 377A.

Before anyone start slamming us for putting this up, please note that listening is voluntary and at your own listening pleasure or pressure. If you find yourself easily offended by sexual innuendo and explicit references to the male genital, please DO NOT click the play button. However, if you are Open Minded, Above 18, have read and understood Penal Code 377A and don’t mind adult jokes, enjoy!

You’ve been warned!

Just thought of sharing some alcohol jokes which I picked up from Bali Pages.  Just a reminder for all those Happy Hours kakis

Alcohol Joke 1:

A man is sitting at a bar.  The bartender makes him an offer: he will give him a sip of many different drinks and if the barfly can identify what it is and where its from he will get to drink it. 

The barfly takes a sip of the first one.

“Vodka from Russia” the man is right and the bartender hands him a full cup.

He then takes a sip of the second one.

“Tequila from Mexico”.

He goes on to name many more and eventually the bartender gets pissed off and fills a cup with piss.  The barfly takes a sip …

“That’s piss!” he screams.

“Yeah, but whose?” replies the bartender.

Alcohol Joke 2:

A guy walks into a bar looking real down in the dumps.  The bartender notices this and asks the guy what is wrong.

“My wife told me if I ever come home drunk again, she was going to divorce me.”

The bartender tells the guy he has nothing to worry about, it was probably just a threat. The guy agrees with the bartender and proceeds to get drunk. After more shots of rum and tequila than he can count, the man is sitting with his face down at the bar and pukes all over his shirt.

After realizing what he had done, the man starts to panic.

“What am I going to do?! My wife is going to kick me out of the house and take everything I’ve got!”

The bartender calms him down and tells him to stick a $20 bill in his shirt pocket and tell his wife it was some other drunk who puked all over him and he gave him the twenty to cover for the shirt.

After a couple cups of coffee the guy drives home to find his wife packing her bags.

He starts to explain what happened to his shirt and he pulls out two $20 bills to show his wife.

Wondering why the man gave her husband $40 instead of the $20 as explained, the wife asks “What’s the other $20 bill for?”

The husband replies “He shit in my pants too.”

Alcohol Joke 3:

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a Bud. He says “Give me a beer before problems start!”

The bartender doesn’t understand but gives the man the beer.  After 15 minutes the man orders a beer again saying “Give me a beer before problems start!”.

The bartender looks a little bit confused but pours the man a beer.  This goes on the whole night and after the 15th beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man,

“What do you mean with before problems start, when are you going to pay for the beers you drunk?”

The man answers “You see right now the problems start!”

If you ever watched any Tamil or Hindi movies in the past, you could relate that nothing is impossible. Read some of the unbelievable scenes below and try to spot them in the future …

1. In one of the fights, Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2. In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3. Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
4. Happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow the theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and the patrons are happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast! The ‘climax’ finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in the air. The first gun fires off and hits the villain and the villain is dead.

Unbelievable? Believe it … Ripley style

Rajanikanth

I was forwarded this email where it is supposed to be the welcome note on board a fright from Shenzhen to Qingtao by China Southern Airlines:

Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang Lui speaking.

On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to welcome you on board our Bowling 737 from Shenzhen to Qingtao.

Members of my crew speak Chinese and other languages that you do not know. It is a great pressure serving you to-die. 

Should you need any resistance during the fright, peace do pest the call button. I and my gals are available to make you feel comfortable.  Meanwhile, the airkwaft is going to fry. Peace sit upright and keep you belt tightly fastened until dinner is served at five dirty p.m.

its raining out there, damn cold, eat until blardy full and feeling very boh lio….

so i want to share a joke my brother told me just a few days ago…

what does CIMB stands for??

Cina
India
Melayu
Bangla pun boleh laaaaa….

im damn boh liao rite? its really a case eat too full nothing to do!